Things change, people come and go, friends stay.

The cycle of life runs evidently(and maybe brutally) fast here in Cambridge.

Everything runs in a fast-forward pace (sadly, except for your research progress).

You meet a lot of new people every year intensively during "freshers' week"-

the preparation week for new coming students at the beginning of academic year.

And chances are that you won't see them much after the freshers' week because everyone is so busy with their own things (unless you really make extra efforts to stay in touch or to meet up with someone). Until you realise, you're already at the end of the academic year and most of them are gone-off to everywhere/anywhere in the world.

Year by year, time passes by like that.

It is indeed a very scary feeling-like life just disappear without you noticing how fast it goes.

Just like the Corpus clock-the time monster eats away your time, second by second, non-stop.

So here I am, a month after freshers' week. I asked myself how many new acquaintances I made this year and how many out of them I actually have deeper connection with and possibly develop friendship out of it. First-acquaintances-thanks to facebook that I can actually count-probably 20. But the tricky one-friendship-I don't know, I really don't.

Due to circumstances I'm in this year, I probably won't be able to put in as much as I used to. What I mean by the circumstances I'm in is that I'm at the second year of my PhD research-collecting data, going everywhere running like a bee. On top of that,I'm going away for part of my fieldwork in December for two month, so I really don't know how much more effort/time I can put to social life. You can't stick your fingers into every pie, can you? We only have very limited time-24 hours a day- and that much energy to use. So I just remind myself to be realistic.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, to be honest. This can actually help you recognise those people who truly care about you and be there for you when you need them and vise versa. No matter how busy one is, one can always make time for important people. Just like what my friend Mark have said: you don't just "have" time, you "make" time. You know who makes time for you and you make time for whom. Those are your true friends who stay by you, no matter how things changes or how time flies.

Happy 50th birthday,my dearest Mom

Dear Mom,

Happy birthday! It's your 50th birthday today, how are you celebrating it? :)

It's such a pity that I'm not with you on your birthday again this year, but I wish you still have a wonderful one this year. And I promise that I will do something to commemorate this special birthday for you when I go back home in December!

The picture on this birthday card makes me think of you and think of what I always said when I was little-My mom is the most beautiful woman in the world.

I really thought so back then, and I always do.

What you've done for me and for our family may have left some marks on your skin and hair, which only add to your beauty and wisdom.

I am deeply grateful of your selfless love, for teaching me everything, and for making me who I am.

Please let me pay a tribute to 50 years of your wisdom, charisma, experiences and your love.

Thank you, my dearest mommy. Please let me salute to your 50th year of splendor, and wish it continues to shine for 50 more years.

Happy birthday, and may happiness be with you everyday.

Love,

Your daughter.

Autumn

Autumn has always been my favourite season.

The earth is covered in different colours in this tranquil and poetic season.

I like wandering in the golden path in whispers of the wind and leaves.

The whispers are beautiful music of nature, gently consoling all the spirits on the planet.

The colours of Autumn makes me think of you.

Your shiny golden hair and your beautiful quiet smile,

radiating with warmth, like the Autumn sun.

Wherever I go, whenever I look at the clear sky,

I can feel the warmth from the beautiful soul, warming my heart in that beautiful heart.

Five years

It's been exactly five years since my special day.
This date is the day I will always remember throughout my whole life.
I still vividly remember every single details in that morning and the beautiful sunrise over my favorite rocky beach.
It is, in my mind, the most amazing beach in the world.
My pounding heartbeat and our awkward conversation (barely a "conversation", more like probing questions and trying to get some answers) somehow added to the beauty of the whole journey.
I had been really happy for what I did that morning, and that's definitely one of the things in my life I would never regret I did.

Five years has past just like a bullet train and so many things have changed already.
The changes of time, space, surroundings, and we all have gone through so much.
I am not the person I use to be and neither are you.
We are standing at two sides of the globe and looking at two whole different horizons.
We are fundamentally, irreconcilably different and I knew that we were like two meteors crossing the sky coincidentally at the same time.
We sparkled the moment we met and carved over each other's hearts, but we were bound to fade in the vastness of the universe.
Only the beauty remains.

Another academic year is coming to an end

Fortunately, the weather has been very beautiful for the past week. (You find yourself talking about the weather a lot after living in England for a while, believe me!) Today the weather is particularly nice- sunny, warm and the sky is so clear without a thinnest bit of cloud.
It is a special and important day for me for various reasons. Firstly it's the first day of June, which really means that the beautiful Cambridge summer is around the corner. (Yet again, talking about the weather!) Also, a very important person's birthday just past at the end of May. That reminded me how I was last year at this time and also reminded me what I have been through the past year. All the ups and downs and all once heated emotions had already past. Having been through all of that, I think I have learnt a lot and have grown so much. I am really thankful to him for all the wonderful memories we had together and all the things I have learnt from our past relationship. And I sincerely wish him a very happy birthday and really hope that he has been very well.
One more thing which made today special is that it was the final examination of the course I supervised for this past academic year. It is the first time I had the chance to formally teach anyone. I had seven clever and diligent students in their second year of undergraduate study. I felt really privileged to be given this amazing opportunity to get to know them and share my thoughts with them. It is a really rewarding experience both professionally (if I can ever be thought of as professional!?) and personally. I am not really that much older than them and I don't really think I know any better than them. They are amazing and I felt that I am always the one who is learning from them. Anyway, to thank them for teaching me so much, I bought a bottle of sparkling wine to celebrate with them the end of this exam to express my thankfulness and my congratulations to them. I know that it is not the end, of course, it just marked another beautiful start.

Speak and think

Once you told me that I think more than I speak, but you speak more than you think.
I know the power of language thus I prefer to be careful with the words I use.
There's one important thing about my words- I speak what I really think and try to express with precision.
I value honesty.
I'm not a very quick thinker/speaker because it takes time for me to really think what I want to say and then say it with caution, especially in a language which is not my mother tongue. If I say something, I really mean it.
If you want to know the bloody truth, come to me and I'll tell you.
I hate liars, especially those who lies to disguise malevolent intentions.

Lost and Found

I know my way around yet I feel lost
Lost in my endless waves of thoughts and feelings
The something in me that had been longing so long to be found has now been lost forever
Then I started to look for some other things that can fill that black hole in me
But the black hole kept on expanding day by day, minute by minute, second by second
Till the end it devoured me into a complete darkness
I cannot see anything here in this complete darkness
Even with the most beautiful object in front of my eyes I could not see
My attempts to search for any source of light were only in vain
The only way is to run away
As far as I can
From me

You

In my dreams I know it's you
A tiny fish glittering in blue
Wandering in the stream of clues
Seeing through the world's look
Far away a star in loom
Waving with a smile of lure
You disappeared in the mysterious blue
Left me with my cheeks in dew